


Life without you is painful

by Explosion_king



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Coma, Friendship/Love, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Living in Denial, Oikawa - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, You can think of it as IwaOi, iwaoi - Freeform, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:27:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24772375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Explosion_king/pseuds/Explosion_king
Summary: After years of running away Oikawa Tooru finally decides to go back in Japan to visit his childhood friend.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro & Iwaizumi Hajime & Matsukawa Issei & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Iwaizumi Hajime
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	Life without you is painful

June 10, 2012  
\- hey Iwa-chan Happy Birthday. How have you been. I know we didn’t end our relationship on good terms, but I wanted you to know that I have always loved you. You have been by my side all the time and supported me in everything I did. You never left my side and because of that I was able to get this far. I thought we would be friend for forever, but it seems like out friendship will end sooner than I imagined, still I am happy that I was able to call you my friend. Please, don’t forget me. I just can’t return now. I hope you will understand.  
Happy birthday (again). Love Tooru.

June 10, 2013  
\- Hey Iwa-chan Happy Birthday. You are 19 already. It kinda pisses me off that you are older than me(by one month but still). I wanted to tell you that everything is good here. I am studying at university and playing volleyball. I made lots of new friends, but don’t get jealous no one will replace you. I got a new girlfriend. She is very beautiful and smart and kind, I like her very much. Got texts from Matsunn and Makki, they have been asking me to return, but i still can’t. I am not ready. They mentioned something about your favorite cake, I guess they are doing a little get together party without me, I am kinda hurt.  
Even though its been a year I still don’t know what I am doing without you. It’s hard but I will manage somehow I am great oikawa after all.  
Matsunn and Makki also said some stupid things but I don’t lose hope. I know one day you will reply back.  
Happy birthday(again). love Tooru.

June 10, 2014  
\- So so so how is my birthday boy??? Hi, Iwa-chan I missed you. I was looking at our childhood photos. We share so many memories. Do you remember that time when we collected bugs in your yard? You looked so happy when you found some ugly and disgusting roaches. I never understood why you liked them so much, they are just so ugh. I remember when you gave me big Rhinoceros beetles, I fainted you laughed at me all day, you were... I mean are so mean to me. Yesterday I broke up with my girlfriend. She said something like “Tooru it is stupid clinging to the past what’s gone is gone you can’t change it.” I was so angry at her I thought she understood me but it turns out she was just like others. She too didn’t understand, but I don’t care. I won’t stop texting you and I believe you will text me back eventually.  
Happy birthday(again), love Tooru.

June 10, 2015  
\- Hey Iwa-chan Happy Birthday!!! Its been a while since I last saw you four years if I am correct. I miss you very very much please wake up soon, I don’t think I will be able to last much more. This voices have been hunting me for months now, telling me horrible things. I even tried to... hopefully my roommate arrived on time to talk me out of it. I don’t know what I will do without you. My doctor advised to stop texting you but... I don’t know maybe he is right and I should. I just can’t continue like this I am so so sorry. I love you and hope you of all people will understand.  
Happy Birthday(for the last time), love Oikawa.

His hand started shaking after he wrote this massage, tears started to run uncontrollably down his cheeks, he was sad but at the same time relieved. He was holding on for so long that it has started to hurt both his mental and physical health. But now as he let go he finally felt free and that thought terrified him. More tears started to flow and he collapsed on the floor. Remembering the argument he had with Iwaizumi four years ago. It seems so trivial now that he would have laughed if it hasn’t been the cause of four year long suffering of his best friend. After their fight, after spoken words non of them meant Iwaizumi left Oikawa’s house without looking back and after several hours oikawa got a phone call telling him that his Iwa-chan was hit by a car. That was it. After that Iwaizumi has been in coma. Oikawa couldn’t face grieving parents of his friend nor his teammates or classmates, he thought it was his fault so he just left. He ran away without telling anyone anything. Only his older sister knew where he was as she was the one who supported him financially before he found job and could take care of himself. The only thing connecting him to his past life was his texts to Iwaizumi and some texts from Makki and Mutsunn telling him about Iwa’s condition. That is how he ended up here on the floor of his small apartment an emotional mess, that has given up on his best friend.

June 3, 2018

June. No matter how much time passes living through this month without texting his friend will always be hard. His hand is always itching to write something to him, just several words to tell him that he hasn’t forgotten about his best friend, but after that texts three years ago Oikawa started to get better and he wasn’t planing to risk his wellbeing for a single massage that may never be read by Iwaizumi. He still looks at his phone and is surprised to find message from unknown number. He slowly takes his phone, unblocks it and starts reading text that he never thought, never even imagined to receive. He breathes slowly. Not really understanding what he was feeling. Sadness? Happiness? No it was something different something much, much stronger.  
He quickly typed a text and send it to a number he could never forget.  
\- Hey Iwa-chan it’s been 7 years. I am finally ready to come back.

June 10, 2018

“Hey Iwa-chan, long time no see. I waited years to finally meet you. Now I no longer need to hope for it or imagine how our meeting will go. I am happy, is it weird? I am happy. Happy, happy, no matter how much longer I keep saying it the pain in my chest just won’t go away. What do you think caused it? Your death? Or the fact that you are finally free and I still have to suffer the rest of my life Living without you?” His voice trembled and he couldn’t continue. He was looking at his best friends grave, not moving an inch, even when the rain started to fall or the sun started to set. He was standing there with little smile on his face, eyes filled with pain and voice that was gone for months returned again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone. This is the very first fanfiction I have ever written and hope you liked it. I had this idea for quite some time and in the end decided to write it and I am proud of how it turned out.
> 
> P.S. English is not my mother language so sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes.


End file.
